It's Okay to Quit

As we grow as a decentralized network we are learning that smaller more targeted groups are often more effective. We are an active community and there are so many ways to step up. It’s easy to get overwhelmed.

This is a short note encouraging you or giving you permission to leave groups without guilt, to say no to really important work, and to understand yourself so you can find where you bring the most value to yourself and the whole. 

It’s important to remember that while the issues we face are relentless, no one person is the solution, and no one solution will solve our world’s systemic problems. As the issues we face grow, so does our community. It’s good to know we are not alone in this work and that we can rely on each other. There is comfort in numbers. 

It is equally important to know that these threads often mix logistics with grief, anger, and fear. Protecting our emotional bandwidth with role clarity is important. Unclear roles and channels create burnout, not solidarity. Prioritizing your energy is healthy for you and the communities whole.

We are working on a personality test that helps you assess yourself and see where you might fit in the work. It’s not peer reviewed or scientific, rather a self reflective tool that will point you to more niche work where you will be most effective, or at the very least, more aware of what is out there. If you are interested in helping develop this assessment please message me or email thrive@chaffeema.com. In the meantime, here is a helpful decision tree that helped me decide which spaces to invest in.

1. Is There a Clear Role for Me Here?

• Yes → Go to 2

• No → Ask yourself or others when appropriate:
  “What’s my role in this thread?” If no one answers → politely leave or mute.

2. Is Action Required From Me?

• Yes → Stay

• No → Go to 3
  
  

Action means:

• You must decide

• You must coordinate

• You are accountable for outcome
  
  

Not action:

• Opinions

• Updates unrelated to your work

• Emotional processing you are not facilitating

3. Is This My Area of Expertise, Passion, Experience?

Think about your lanes:

• Housing stabilization

• Food Security

• Coalition building

• Transportation

• Mutual aid coordination etc.
  
  

If the topic is outside your lane:

• Consider leaving

• If that doesn’t feel right, go to 4

4. Would Leaving Cause Harm or Confusion?

• Yes → Stay temporarily and help the transition 

• No → Consider leaving

5. Is This About Community Connection or Culture?

These matter, but you don’t need all of them.

Ask:

• Does this nourish me?

• Does it build trust I need for my work?
  
  

If not → Leave or Mute without guilt.